Friday, September 16, 2011

In fucking flux


my life seems has been taken over by not knowing....

not knowing what i want, not knowing where I am now, where I am headed.

it's so fucking disorienting, living the life of the lost.

how did I get here? surely I was smart enough to channel Gretel and leave some goddamned breadcrumbs...oh wait, that little treat-greedy twat didn't count on the birds, did she? Well, Gretzty, neither did I...neither did I.

What are the appropriate parameters by which to measure, to define one's life? I've been here before, haven't I? Thrust into a space of complete loneliness, confusion, and bewilderment? Sure, I have. But I suppose I was operating under the impression that because I'd done it once the second go wouldn't be as difficult...and maybe I am right in that assumption, to a limited degree. But what I didn't anticipate, what I didn't have the goddamned sense to realize was that each time, each challenge, each fucking dark space has it's own special blend of hell, it's own propriety recipe for getting fucked in the ass.

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